Stages of departure

I may have mentioned it before but I moved to Leicester from London when I finished university. It never crossed my mind that moving two or so hours up from London to a place where I knew very few people very well and had no family might be hard. Needless to say in the months that followed I learnt that moving and starting again is not straight forward and is at points really hard work.

Learning from that experience and made a few choices before I moved to New Zealand and got the some friends from my old home to help while I got settled.

I have fallen into the trap of thinking that at the end of my first year it would all be sorted. Now don't get me wrong. God has been very gracious in so many ways and I know that He will continue to be. I know that this is where I am supposed to be. I have a job that I love (most of the time at least). I have some great people who have become my friends and I care for them a great deal and am very grateful for them.

But I had forgotten to think past the first twelve months and the lessons learnt during my last move. Back then I reached the point where I knew some people well but it became more difficult to get to know more people. I was no longer new so people understandably didn't think that I needed supporting in that kind of way any longer. But I was too British to admit that I wasn't as settled as I people thought I was. But I was more settled within another 6 months or so. I also spent some time away from Leicester catching up with family (with a large family every month is someones birthday!) and friends around the country. This I was committed to doing because they are important to me but it also helped me come to feel settled wherever I was.

Skip forward to now I have gotten to know a small group of people quite well which is a blessing. But it is hard trying to get to know more people. Add into that there is the awareness of being less and less involved in life back home. Not that I have stopped caring or that friends or family have stopped caring. It is just more seperate. You miss little things that happen with family. Life moves on. Friends get married and you can't really be involved. It is just more seperate.

Not that life is all bad by any means. It is great getting to know more people and sharing life with them. But it is not easy. I now remember what I had forgotten and I am thankful that my first move was to a place where friends and family were still near(ish). I remember God's provision and faithfulness from then and it makes now hopeful. I am beginning to understand more of the importance that the bible places on remembering.

Spam, spam, spam and spam

A stupid glitch in a Microsoft wizard has left me with major headaches with our smtp server. So please skip over if you are not interested while I slip into geek mode.

What the Small Business Server 2003 Internet connection wizard did was reset the permissions on relaying via our smtp (simple mail transfer protocol) server. Our server became an open relay. It is generally how spam email senders operate. They cannot generate large numbers of emails off of there own Internet Service provider so they look for insecure smtp servers and use them to send their spam. The internet connection wizard set out smtp server to allow connections from users with accounts on the server and from the servers own IP address. What seemed to be happening is that mail being relayed seemed to be hitting the server before being relayed and therefore when the emails got to be relayed they came from the server IP address and were therefore allowed. 750,000 emails were generated off our server in 3 days using this method. Thankfully our spam protection caught them all. Our server is now set to only relay email from authorised and authenticated users.

What a useful feature of the internet connection wizard. For my part I did not change any email settings so didn't think to check them. I will in future

Geek episodeover. One positive is that I have been able to work at full capacity again. so hopefully the worst of this virus is over. Yay! Thanks for your prayers.

I'm sick of this

Well I am still ill. My spots have gone away but I am still struggling to work a full day. I get tired very easy and my glands swell up. I am finding this very frustrating!

But it is a helpful reminder that things don't depend upon me. God is working. Sometimes through us and other times around us. But His plans do not hinge upon us. They hinge upon His being God. Thanks be to Him for that.